Halloween Candy
by Lira is a Girl's Name
Summary: In which Hanna goes trick-or-treating dressed up as "Conrad the Vampire" and Zombie accompanies as "Doc ZombieWorth" and the two drop in on the good doctor and his nurse assistant for the night to share holiday cheer as candy. Hanna/Zombie and conworth.


AN: This is Lira's offering for Halloween this year. It is inspired by a silly and adorable picture by Tai Ping/"typing" in which Hanna and Zombie are dressed as Conrad and Worth. It also includes Conrad is a nurse's uniform because I promised this ages ago and Halloween was a good excuse. IT IS NOT PORN HAHA. Just reasonably suggestive. Also, Hanna and Worth have bonding time. That all said, Hanna is Not a Boy's Name is still the property of the magnificent Tessa Stone and I am still not meaning any offense or infringement.

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HALLOWEEN CANDY

-by: Lira-

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In a complex that must have contained a good hundred apartments, Hanna had mastered the ability to run the gamut in just under three hours. Of course, watching Hanna run to and fro like a chicken with its head cut off was quite standard. Gallahad merely followed along behind the redhead like a dutiful shadow. Far more curious was when the residents of the apartments commented on how Hanna's parents must have finally grown worried over him running about by himself. He was how old now? Fourteen? It was so sweet of this older gentleman to agree to accompany Hanna trick-or-treating; was he a friend of the family?

Most curious of all was when Hanna only smiled bashfully at his doting neighbors down below, thrusting out his pumpkin-shaped basket to receive their offerings of candy.

Gallahad was used to Hanna employing a humbling level of honesty, and it was quite peculiar to watch him then, allowing all of these well-meaning people to believe falsified information. They reached the last apartment on the bottom floor, having begun all the way at the top, and for once Hanna held still instead of dashing off to the next destination.

"Hanna," Gallahad began, to make sure he had the redhead's attention.

"It's all right! I'll carry this now!" Hanna told him cheerfully, hefting the mostly-filled basket.

Gallahad shifted his grip on the pillowcase he held, the cloth sack filled almost to bursting with all manner of candy. Hanna had cheerfully explained that this way, they wouldn't have to make pit stops to his apartment every few floors, when he first emptied his bucket into the case Gallahad was holding. The weight of that loot was not so insurmountable to him, and he had slung the bag across his shoulder for ease of carrying.

"Not that, Hanna," he murmured evenly. "What exactly are you doing with... With all of this?"

Hanna glanced down at himself at those words, before offering Gallahad a sheepish smile. "Come on! You've gotta admit, being able to dress up and run around as a vampire is really cool! Tell me that you didn't like doing this."

"I mean the candy," Gallahad clarified. "Everyone thinks you're a kid."

"Well, okay, maybe there's one good thing about being short," Hanna admitted, even more sheepishly. "I'm not lying to anybody! I'm just letting them think what they want. And letting them give me candy."

Gallahad had to stop and think about whether or not this sounded wrong. It was deception of a kind, but if anything was more important to Hanna than honesty, it was good intentions. Perhaps it did something for all of those lonely people, buying a bag or two of candy for this strange holiday and having someone like Hanna to dole the treats out to. Hanna, unlike the sort of fourteen year old boy who might really be in the area, was not a delinquent.

"You certainly have enough candy," Gallahad said instead.

"You can never have enough candy!" Hanna returned. "Except, I guess, when you've got somewhere to be. Come on, we need to drop in on Worth."

"Worth?" Gallahad echoed. "Are you feeling quite all right? Hanna?"

"Oh, I'm fine!" Hanna replied. "But /not/ dropping by in these costumes would be criminal! I worked hard on these, man. We need to show them off!"

Gallahad just shook his head, and hefted the case full of candy one more time. As Hanna led the way, his cape billowed out behind him, somewhat blocking the view of those pants Conrad had tried and failed to popularize. When Hanna threw one last glance over his shoulder and cracked a smile, the single fang on his set of fake teeth was visible against the red of his mouth. Gallahad followed after, his lab coat rippling slightly in a similar manner, the weight of the stethoscope around his neck and the weight around his forehead familiar after a long night of knocking on doors.

Their evening culminated with yet another knock to a door, except after striking the door to Worth's office so that it swung in a few inches, Hanna called out a cheerful, "It's me, we're coming in!"

When Hanna shoved the door open the rest of the way and went to trot inside, Gallahad had the presence of mind to look first. First he saw Hanna skidding to a halt on Worth's linoleum floor. Immediately after that, he saw the back of Worth's coat – Worth's real coat, not the one he was wearing – and one long, pale leg wrapped around the back of the doctor's leg, terminating in a shiny red pump. The heel of the shoe appeared to be digging into Worth's ankle.

"Fuck, Worth, get off!" was yelped out, in a voice Gallahad recognized as belonging to Conrad.

The angry tone was somewhat undercut by the breathiness to Conrad's voice when he uttered the doctor's name.

"Aye though' tha' was wot Aye was doin'," Worth replied, low drawl just then possessed of a suggestive lilt.

"Hanna!" Conrad yelled. "Hanna is here! Hanna! Worth fucking let go of me or I swear to god-"

"Uh, hi Conrad," Hanna said, cheerful voice toned down a few notches. "Haha, happy Halloween."

Worth craned his neck around, backing out of the way enough for them to witness Conrad sliding the few inches to the ground after the good doctor released his hold. Even then he tottered slightly, likely because the heels he was wearing must have measured at least three inches. He braced himself against the wall with one hand, using the other to tug down the scandalously short skirt he was wearing. Gallahad couldn't remember nurses wearing uniforms like that in any hospital he had ever seen, but by that point very, very little would ever surprise him.

"Yeh look like lil' red ridin' hood, Hanna, wot th' fuck issat s'posed ter be?" Worth snapped.

"It's a cape," Hanna explained, undeterred by Worth's tone.

It seemed walking in on something was not enough to deter Hanna for long, either.

"An' wot's a ginger in a cape need at this hour, anywise?" Worth asked next.

Conrad seemed to be trying to melt into the wall, with very limited success. Mostly the back of the skirt just seemed to be sticking to the grime, which meant when Conrad squirmed the fabric inched upwards ever so slowly. Gallahad had a passing thought that he had never expected to see that much of Conrad's legs. He didn't particularly want to see that much of Conrad's legs, either, but it cued a vague sort of thought about dead flesh and his dead flesh and how Hanna had enough scars to rival the marks on his flesh, when Hanna was wandering around the apartment in his dinosaur boxers without his glasses on and flashing possibly more bare skin than Conrad.

"I'm not..." Hanna began, like maybe he was actually going to object to Worth calling him a ginger in that derisive tone. But no, Hanna just shook his head a little and continued, "I'm a vampire, see?" He bared his teeth, showing the one fang in a way that revealed the gap where he and Gallahad had snipped the other off. "I mean, I'm Conrad, but maybe I don't wanna be Conrad right now, haha."

"An' stone cold an' dead is s'posed ter be me," Worth continued, without needing any more of Hanna's explanation. "Real clever, Hanna. Bet yer damned proud."

"Yeah, actually!" Hanna agreed, starting to get excited again because it looked like he'd get to talk about the costumes.

"I don't wear a cape, Hanna, honestly," Conrad cut in, for a moment forgetting that he was trying to mask what he was wearing.

"I didn't think you wore high heels, either, but I guess I was wrong," Hanna said, cheerfully enough to prove that he didn't even realize it could sound rude.

"Yeh jes' 'ave ter be th' righ' kind of convincin'," Worth confided, before Conrad could answer for himself.

The leer on the doctor's face barely shifted, even as they all heard one of those heels being driven down into Worth's foot. If anything, it appeared as if a flicker of ecstasy passed across Worth's face before his expression returned to more mundane lechery.

He did follow the stomp up with a, "fuck, Connie," out the corner of his mouth at slightly lower volume.

"I brought you some candy, too," Hanna continued, holding up the near-forgotten pail of treats in another gesture redolent with obliviousness.

"Now, tha's when this'd look a lot better if yeh were lil' red riding hood," Worth decided. As he spoke, he pried his foot out from under Conrad's heel and turned to face Hanna completely.

"I like you better as a doctor than my grandmother," Hanna said. "Although I guess I wouldn't say no if you wanted to knit me a sweater. I was just gonna sort out the caramels for you, because you like caramels, right?"

Gallahad watched as Hanna turned a hopeful look on Worth, a look indicative of such trust. He wondered if perhaps there was more reason for coming to see Worth than just to show off their silly costumes. If maybe this, like the well-meaning deception of the apartment tenants, was some sort of tradition Hanna had established from a brand of necessity. Something that brought warmth to a life that was not always so rewarding. Chatting with all those residents who, no matter how down on their luck, always had a lolly or a chocolate to toss in Hanna's bucket, who offered him genuine smiles when he furled out his cape and bared his plastic fangs. Sitting on Worth's grungy floor with a wealth of candy spread around him, plucking out the caramels by hand as an offering to a man Hanna just couldn't pay in any conventional means.

From the sour look on Conrad's face, at least one person in the room expected Worth to shoot Hanna down without a thought. But, with that little grain of background Gallahad had wormed free, he suspected something else would be said.

"Yeh should know better'n ter cut in while Ah'm workin', Hanna," Worth grumbled, still with a good measure of genuine irritation.

"So Conrad's like your new assistant?" Hanna giggled.

"Summin' like tha'," Worth agreed magnanimously. "C'mere, lemme grab a fuckin' chocolate."

Hanna crossed the room to offer the bucket to Worth, and Gallahad finally moved from just within the doorway. There was a rustling sound as Worth's long fingers dug through the pile of candy, and Conrad finally looked past Hanna and the doctor to meet Gallahad's steady gaze. On intuition, he moved across the room to stand beside the vampire, whose little nurse cap was sitting somewhat askew. Absently, Conrad reached up and set it straight.

"I'm sorry," Gallahad said, quietly. "We came at a bad time."

"It's all right," Conrad said automatically. He was tugging at the skirt again, fidgeting, but he didn't seem quite so annoyed. "I never should have agreed to this."

Gallahad didn't say anything, but as seemed to be the norm with everyone, Conrad chose to interpret his silence as wordless askance.

"It was Halloween," he muttered, sounding angry with himself. "I just thought... I don't know what I thought. This was a horrible idea."

"Hanna gives him candy, as a thank you," Gallahad murmured. The words came slowly, ponderously. "You give Hanna groceries, like the same sort of thank you. Worth doesn't want the same sort of thank you from you."

Conrad looked surprised for a moment, like that wasn't at all what he'd expected to hear. He muttered something that sounded an awful lot like "I shouldn't have to thank him for anything, the creep."

"I think he chose shoes with heels like those for a reason," Gallahad commented.

Conrad made a face, like he /really/ hadn't expected to hear that from the stoic dead man who was Hanna's companion, like he was taking it for the absolute worst implications of the words. But after a moment, the look of stunned horror melted into something more thoughtful.

"I imagine the best kind of thank you is one that you would enjoy giving. I can suggest to Hanna that we leave, if you like. I believe he still needs to give himself a stomach ache from eating too much candy before calling this a successful night."

Conrad offered him a small, wan smile, and then a quiet, "Uhm, thank you."

"Yeh sure none of these wrappers 'ave bin tampered wiv, Hanna?" Worth was asking when they both looked back over. "Looks like this'un's bin glued back down. Yer gunna be vomitin' up yer intestines at this rate, fuck."

"But I got those from Mrs. Santos!" Hanna was protesting. "I remember! She wouldn't poison me, come on, give me back my gummi worms, you know those are my favorite."

"Jes' doan' eat th' hard candies, yeh know these are th' ones Ah'd lace if it were me," Worth grumbled, as if it was perfectly normal to discuss which candies he'd add drugs to.

"Just take the caramels," Hanna insisted, shoving a few more tiny packages into Worth's hands and snatching back the packet of gummi worms. "It's like you really are my grandmother, except I don't get any knitted socks."

"Yer dead friend prob'ly darns yer socks already, fuck, how old are yeh again Hanna?" Worth taunted.

"I'm twenty-four and you know it, I shouldn't give you any more candy."

"Hanna," Gallahad said, so that Hanna's head came up even though his name had been called softly.

"Terrence doesn't think I should give you any more candy, either," Hanna said to Worth, childishly.

Gallahad felt the corners of his mouth turning up slightly.

"We have to make sure you have enough to last you through New Year's," Gallahad said, with a hint of fondness.

Taking that as agreement, Hanna preened for a second before pulling the bucket of candy away from Worth. He turned around, looked about the dingy office, settled eyes on Conrad for a second, all like he'd forgotten what he was doing.

"That's kind of a great costume, Conman," Hanna said, seeming to mean it. "It's like, confident. And everyone knows Worth's a jerk, so if any patients show up, you could do like a good cop bad cop routine. Good doctor bad doctor? Haha, not that Worth's a bad doctor or anything!"

By that point Hanna had a sheepish expression, but it seemed to be more over the fact that he'd potentially insulted his physician than over the fact that he'd essentially told Conrad he looked good in a slutty nurse uniform. Hanna in no way seemed to grasp the issue.

"Let's go, Hanna," Gallahad suggested. "Let Conrad and Doc Worth, ah, do their routine."

"Later Conman!" Hanna chirped, showing his agreement. "Later Worth. Enjoy the caramels. I guess it's too bad Conrad can't eat candy, huh?"

"Definitely too bad," Gallahad agreed, moving towards the door himself.

It was enough for Hanna. He hefted the bucket with all of his remaining loot, lightened only marginally by Worth accepting a handful or two of chocolate caramels. Gallahad could tell that Hanna was again buoyed by the thought of eating as close to his weight in candy as he could manage in one evening. He'd chosen not to see anything too suspicious in the goings on in Worth's office, mentally smoothing over his first impression in favor of the routine where he tried to give Worth candy.

"Dammit, Worth, just wait until they leave."

Gallahad had his hand around the door handle, but the hissed words reached his ears if not Hanna's before he could pull it closed behind him.

"Yeh gunna apply th' injection, nurse Connie?" Worth inquired, and even Gallahad could hear that the words were tight with lust, the quickened pace of Worth's usual drawl revealing the extent of his impatience after the little visit.

"Oh god," Conrad nearly sobbed. "I think I liked it better when you just told me to bite you."

Gallahad tugged the door shut before he could hear any more.

Hanna skipped off down the alley, like he hadn't a care. Gallahad's long legs allowed him to keep easy pace with the redhead.

"So if you're Conrad," Gallahad murmured as they walked. "Does that mean you'd like me to actually pretend to be Doc Worth?"

Hanna laughed first, but then considered. "That might be fun, except if you're Worth, you might want me to wear the same sort of lingerie the real Worth bought for Conrad, and I don't really want to go see about spending money on red thong underwear. I think he got some /really/ nice ones, too."

Perhaps Hanna had not been so oblivious about the goings-on in Worth's office after all.


End file.
